


shattered mirrors (and healing hearts)

by marvelarmy



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula (Avatar)-centric, Azula Gets a Life Changing Fieldtrip, Azula being a badass, Azula has multiple mental breakdowns, Azula has some issues she needs to work out, Azula just needs love, But Azula doesn't really know their names so they are just referenced, But they are still Cool Siblings by the end, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Ember Island (Avatar), Firelord Zuko (Avatar), Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Not faithful to comics, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, POV Azula (Avatar), Poetic, Post-Canon, Psychological Trauma, The Fire Nation generals should be scared, The Gaang - Freeform, They simply do the things that must be done, Ursa (Avatar) is a Good Parent, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko is kinda oblivious sometimes, Zuko is trying his best, i tried metaphors, in a way because, kind of, lowkey, mental health, overuse of italics lol, wow thats not cliche at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:53:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24415447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelarmy/pseuds/marvelarmy
Summary: Azula did everything right. She tirelessly defended her nation. She had perfect fire bending. She had even conquered Ba Sing Se when the Dragon of the West could not.So, why was she not good enough? Why was it always Zuko?OR:Azula is miserable in her cage-sorry, mental institution. That is until Zuko offers to take her to Ember Island to sort out their Issues (TM) and give Azula her Life-Changing Field Trip.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 50
Kudos: 421





	1. Part 1 - The Cage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY PARTY PEOPLE, HERES THE IDEA. I have finished the first part of the work already, but I would totally be willing to make a second part if the people so choose. If you'd like that, let me know now so I can start on it while I'm regularly updating this part. I know it's kinda hard to tell now since it's only the first chapter, but just know I can expand on Zuko's and Azula's relationship and add Politics TM. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the first chapter. I always thought Azula was one of the most interesting villains of all time, and that she deserved a redemption. I dive deep into my thoughts in the notes of the last chapter (lol I already have them written) but I won't spoil it for now. Have fun!

Azula fell backward, screaming out to no one in particular. (Maybe she was screaming to herself. How did she allow this to happen?) She was chained up like a filthy animal, unable to bend. She had  _ lost  _ to her traitorous brother and his peasant friend. Azula did  _ not  _ lose. She was perfect. 

So, why was it always Zuko? 

Why did everyone choose him in the end? What did he have that she didn’t? 

The realization made Azula begin to sob uncontrollably. 

Azula did everything right. She tirelessly defended her nation. She had perfect fire bending. She had even conquered Ba Sing Se when the  _ Dragon of the West  _ could not. 

_ So, why was she not good enough? _

  
  


~ Two Weeks Later ~

  
  


Azula was in a cage.  _ Zuzu _ would call it a mental institution, but Azula saw it as it was. A cage. This wasn’t fair, Azula was not insane. 

She was still perfect. 

Turns out, perfect was not good enough for the rest of the Fire Nation, crowning her  _ precious _ brother instead of her. It was her  _ right _ . Zuko has taken everything away from her. Her loyal companions, her birthright, her pride, and the only person who cared for her. Father. 

Father understood that she was better. He understood that Zuko was the less talented one. Surely, he’d come for her. Any day now he’d break into the prison and tell her he loved her and that everything was going to be okay—

Okay, maybe she was going a little insane. Just another thing Zuko had taken away from her, her sanity. 

Why can’t they all see  _ she’s  _ so much better.  _ She  _ should be Fire Lord. Mai and Ty Lee should be loyal to  _ Azula _ . 

Mother should have loved her, too. Now  _ that  _ was the question of the hour.

Why did Mother love Zuko more than her? What did she do wrong? Azula prides herself on understanding people. The ability to exploit that one weakness for her benefit, but she just does not understand her mother. She’s not sure her mother understood her either. At least it’s mutual.

Was Azula that much of a monster that her own mother couldn’t love her?

Azula thought back to when she was almost crowned Fire Lord. She was just about to be granted unlimited power, but something still bothered her about that day.

Why wasn’t she happy? Power was all she ever wanted, right? 

What was she missing?

Was it Mother again? Was she messing with Azula’s feelings in order to take her down? It must be that. Azula never lets her personal feelings get in the way of being the perfect soldier for her father. She wasn’t like Zuko. He’s the reckless one who doesn’t think things through. 

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? She wasn’t like Zuko. Somehow, Zuko had something that she didn’t. Something that made him  _ better  _ than her, but for the life of her, Azula cannot figure out what it is. All her life she had done everything perfectly. She never talked back to Father, was the most talented firebender her masters had ever seen, and were able to command entire forces of troops without question. Zuko had none of that, but he still came out on top.

Azula had finally had enough. 

“I should be Fire Lord! Get me out of here! I  _ don’t  _ deserve this,” she screamed.

No one came. The  _ peasants  _ were ignoring her.

“Azula.”

Azula turned to the left to see her mother standing inside a few feet away from her. Azula pointedly looked away. 

“Azula.”

“What’re you doing here,  _ Mother _ ?” Azula turned back to her mother and sneered, brushing her matted hair away from her face. When did she get so  _ disgusting _ ?

“I’m here to see my daughter, Azula,” Mother said, her hands folded together delicately as Azula had always seen her do.

“Don’t  _ lie,  _ Mother. I can see right through you. You’re here because you want something. Is there more of my life you wish to ruin? Haven’t you had enough? Your precious  _ Zuko  _ is on the throne, and I am in a cage. Aren’t you happy now? Aren’t you satisfied?”

“You deserve so much more than this, Azula.”

“Stop patronizing me. You think I don’t know that? I’ve always been obedient all through my life, and I still have nothing. Father’s gone, Mai and Ty Lee betrayed me, Zuko has the throne, and you left me. You left me with nothing. You stopped caring for me a long time ago, so why act like you do now?” 

Mother had the nerve to look disappointed. “I had no choice but to leave, Azula, but I never stopped caring for you and your brother. I will forever love you both.” 

“You must think I’m a fool!  _ Zuzu  _ is the only one you ever loved. You know, I heard you that day. You said,  _ what is wrong with that child?  _ Do you think I don’t ask the same thing to myself every day? Why was I so horrible that you couldn’t love me?” 

“I’m sorry, Azula, I truly am. But you must understand that none of that was your fault. I don’t blame you for how your father taught you.”

Azula didn’t understand this. What does she mean by 'how Father taught her'? Mother was plotting her downfall from the start, Azula  _ knew  _ that, but this— this doesn’t fit.

As Mother tried to come closer, Azula screamed and squeezed her eyes shut, covering her ears. “Stop lying! You’re lying.  _ Stop it _ . Father was the only one who actually cared about me. He— he wanted me to be Fire Lord. He trusted  _ me  _ to keep the Fire Nation safe. It doesn’t matter that he left me behind. It doesn’t. No, no, NO!”

“Azula?”

Azula quickly composed herself enough to look up and see her big brother standing in full Fire Lord regalia. He was better than Azula had originally thought. Zuko the Great, the Fire Nation’s pride and joy,  _ knew  _ those robes would hurt her the most. That she’d resent him for rubbing it in her face that she had lost. He was out to get her too,  _ she knew it _ . Did Mother already get to him?

She looked to the left of her, the old viper bat had disappeared. 

“Who said  _ you  _ could come in?” She demanded, trying to look as dignified as she could in white rags and a cell.

“I did,” Her brother stated as if it were obvious.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Your Majesty Fire Lord Zuko. Come here to gloat, did you? Do you expect me to grovel at your knees? Well, I’m sorry I’m not really in the groveling mood—“

Zuko sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. A sign of exasperation, Azula could use that in the future... somehow. 

“I heard you screaming when I was coming down.”

“Was I now, Zuzu? And why would you care? You threw me in here to rot, and now you care about me?”

“I will always care about you, Azula. You’re my sister,” Zuko walked closer to the bars of the cell. It was unnerving. He didn’t look scared of her anymore. 

So, she decided to stick it where it hurts. “You know, you kinda look like Father in those Fire Lord robes.”

Zuko flinched. He took a deep breath. “I am nothing like Father,” he said carefully.

“Geez, I never said you were,” Azula smirked, knowing exactly what she did. She still had it, even in the cramped prison.

“Azula, I’m trying to be civil here, will you please listen to what I have to say?”

Okay. Maybe Azula felt a little bad now. That’s weird. Is the cage softening her?

She stuck her chin up and clamped her mouth shut, giving Zuko a curt nod. It was a gesture that said, ‘ _ Fine, go ahead and talk _ .’

Zuko took another deep breath (seriously, what was with that) and began to speak. 

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately. And I’ve been figuring a lot of things out about myself.”

Azula couldn’t believe this. If she thought  _ she  _ had gone soft, her brother was like a komodo chicken feather pillow. 

“I’ve realized that for so long I sought Father’s approval because I thought it would bring me happiness. But it didn’t. Father’s approval didn’t bring happiness to me, and I’m sure it never did to you.”

Azula gaped at her brother. What was he saying? 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Zuzu. I was so happy. Father left me behind to rule the Fire Nation while he became Phoenix King. I was going to be Fire Lord. I was the happiest person ever.”

Zuko crossed his arms and stared at her. She really didn’t like how much he looked like Father.

“Really? ‘Cause it didn’t look that way to me.” 

Azula glared at him. “Really, how did it look to you then,  _ brother _ ?”

“I think, Azula, that on that day you realized that Father didn’t care for you, he only cared about power. You say he ‘trusted you the Fire Nation’ but I think you know deep down that he was abandoning you.”

Azula wanted him to stop, but she couldn’t find the words.  _ Why couldn’t she make him quiet? _

“And after realizing this, you finally figured it out, Azula. You finally figured out that you had lost almost everyone.”

Azula felt the fire in her chest roar to life in rage.

“Almost? Yeah right,” she laughed like it was some kind of sick joke, “Come here to try to make me feel better, Zuzu? I don’t need your  _ pity _ . I have nothing left, and you have everything. I get it, you won.” 

Zuko had the audacity to look at her with sadness. “You never lost me, Azula.”

Now  _ that  _ sounded familiar. Azula was sick of it.

“You’re just like Mother, always lying to me!”

Zuko’s good eye twitched slightly. It was so minor of a reaction, that if she wasn’t herself, there’s no way she would’ve caught it. 

“ _ I’m _ always lying to  _ you _ ? Azula, you came into my room the night Mom left, teasing me about how Father was going to kill me. I had to try to coax myself to sleep by repeating,  _ Azula always lies _ .” 

Ouch. That one kind of stung. Wait, what is she saying? Azula never gets affected by sob stories. The cage really  _ is  _ softening her.

“I can see what you’re doing, you’re trying to make me feel sorry for you. Well, it’s not going to work. I’ll get out of here eventually, and when I do, you’ll be sorry you ever kept me alive.”

Zuko’s mouth pressed into a thin line. “I’ll never be sorry about that, Azula. You may have been a handful when we were kids, but you’ll always be my sister.”

Azula almost tried to argue with him. She wanted to scream that he ceased to be her big brother the moment he stole everything from her. She didn’t know exactly  _ when  _ that was. Maybe it was the moment Mai and Ty Lee chose him over her. Or when he challenged her to the Agni Kai. Or maybe it was much earlier, the moment she realized her mother didn’t love her like she did Zuko. But she didn’t say any of that. She kept her mouth shut and looked away to the far corner of the room.

“You know, Mai and Ty Lee still ask about you.”

Azula’s eyes narrowed. What was Zuko trying to do here? 

“I couldn't care less about those two backstabbers. They picked their side.”

Zuko shifted in his stance, obviously thinking very carefully about his response.

_ Good, he should mind what he says next _ . She thinks.

“I think you do. You act like you don’t care, but you really do. Having feelings isn’t a weakness, Azula. If you let them, they can become a great strength.”

Azula scoffed. He was beginning to sound more and more like their traitorous uncle by the day. 

“You’re so wise after becoming Fire Lord, Zuzu. I’m sure the Avatar and his group of peasants really appreciate that.”

“See, as soon as someone points out something like this to you, you get defensive. Have you ever thought that there may be truth behind the words that you should consider before disregarding them?”

Azula does not remember Zuko being this harsh with his words.

Clearly, Zuko didn’t expect it either, because as soon as he finished his little tangent, he sighed. 

“Okay. I’m sorry, it’s just— it’s been a long day.”

“Whatever, brother. You can say what you want to me. I’ll still be locked up in this cage, unable to do anything, and you’ll still be Fire Lord. It doesn’t matter what I’m  _ feeling _ .” 

And she really meant it. Until she figured out a clever escape, Azula would be stuck. Just her, and her thoughts. She couldn’t afford to lose even more of her precious sanity by listening to the lies her brother was sprouting. Her  _ emotions _ didn’t matter at the point. 

Zuko looked at her for a long time after that. It was really beginning to become unnerving when he finally spoke.

“Azula… I’m probably going to regret this but do you— do you want to go to Ember Island?”

Wow. She had not expected that. Was her big brother truly that  _ stupid _ ? He was literally handing her an escape on a silver platter. Of course, she wasn’t going to tell him this. Poor Zuzu, always too trusting for his own good.

“Really, Zuko?” Azula made her bottom lip quiver slightly. This kind of stuff always worked on him. “You’d do that for me?”

Zuko looked at her skeptically. “Well, there will be rules. And someone will always be with you at all times.”

“Even in the bath? Zuko, you’re so  _ ruthless _ , subjecting your little sister to that.” She grinned at the vibrant shade a red the Fire Lord was turning.

“Well, er— we can arrange for um— female guards for—  _ that  _ type of thing,” Zuko stammered. 

“Oh, calm down Zuzu. I’m just teasing.”

Zuko’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned an even deeper shade of crimson, Azula mused. His face was the same color as the Fire Lord robes he was donning.

“I’ll arrange for it then,” Zuko said after he had recovered. 

“I’ll look forward to it,” She replied. Not even trying to hide the grin that was beginning to emerge on her face. Forget the little— erm—  _ breakdown  _ she had earlier. That was irrelevant now that things were playing out in her favor.

Things were about to get really interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop...... I hope you guys enjoyed that. The next chapters are already written, so the updates will come really soon. (Like within a couple of days of each other at least.) I really appreciate discussions in the comments, so if you have ideas and theories of your own, please share! As always, love y'all. 
> 
> (P.S. I wrote 11,000 words for this fic in like, less than 24 hours, yet I still keep putting off writing 1000 words for my other fic, The Spider Vlogs. I swear I have priorities...)


	2. Part 2 - The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula is finally let out of the mental institution (thank Agni for that), though her intentions aren't as innocent as her brother may think they are...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for the lovely comments on the first chapter, they really are pleasant to read! I will probably post the rest of the fic within the week, so keep checking those updates! Anywho, enjoy the second chapter!

Azula held her head up high as she strutted out of the mental institution. Zuko may have put her there because of the  _ incident  _ after their battle, but there was no way in Agni she was going to let it show. 

That was a one-time thing, she told herself. Azula  _ knew  _ people thought she was crazy, but she was still the Princess of the Fire Nation. Zuko had yet to take  _ that _ away from her. 

In her mind, this trip had three goals. 

  1. Find out what made Zuko better than her and get it for herself. She _will_ get people to choose her over him eventually.
  2. Escape from the watchful eye of the guards (it really shouldn’t be too hard. Azula is still _skilled_ after all) so she doesn’t have to go back to that awful cage again. 
  3. Overthrow Zuko for the crown of the Fire Nation, capture the Avatar, find her father, and make everything go back to the way it was before the… thing. 



Okay, so three may take a little bit more time than the others, but Azula knew what she wanted. At least, she thinks she knows. Honestly, she’s not sure anymore. Ugh, it’s just all so  _ confusing _ , and Azula hates being confused. She likes being in the know, having the upper hand. Before the battle, Azula thought the crown would make her happy. She thought power makes her happy. Something had changed between then and now, but Azula can’t put her finger on it.

Oh well, at least she doesn’t have to wear those ugly white robes anymore. 

Zuko looked to her worriedly, like he was expecting her to start bending lightning right then and there. 

Perhaps his concerns held some truth, but she wasn’t  _ dumb _ . If she started doing anything threatening, she might as well say goodbye to her only chance at freedom and redemption. Still, it felt good to be  _ feared  _ again. In that cage, everyone just looked at her with pity, and maybe some wariness. But out in the open, where she could virtually do anything she pleased, she could feel their fear radiating off them. 

In Azula’s mind, this trip could go one of two ways. She could spend some quality time with her brother and learn more about her feelings, only to be shut away for the rest of her life… or she could restore her honor and rightful place on the throne. 

Ha. Who was she kidding? The first one was a joke. Looks like  _ Azula  _ is the one to be restoring her honor now.

It really is ironic in a way. Agni just  _ loves  _ to mess with her. Azula could imagine the Water Tribe Warrior Peasant With The Bad Haircut (Bad Haircut Guy for short) saying something like  _ ‘oh how the turntables _ ’ or something like that. She can’t be bothered to really care what a peasant thinks anyway, with their peasant sayings. 

“Aang— you know the Avatar, and Katara, along with the rest of my friends really thought this was a bad idea,” Zuko finally says after a long silence.

Azula rolled her eyes. Of course, the Avatar and his minions would think this was a bad idea. Honestly, she can’t blame them. Also, since when did the Avatar become “Aang”. 

“I’ll behave, Zuzu. Don’t you trust me?”

Zuko looked at her incredulously. “Have you really given me a reason to?”

Azula chuckled. That was the first time she was close to an actual laugh in a while. 

“That’s fair.”

Eventually, they reached their ride, but Azula was surprised to see it was not a palanquin, the traditional mode of transportation for the royal family. It was a carriage pulled by, ugh, dirty komodo rhinoceroses. She could smell them immediately.

Azula allowed for a little hurt to be reflected in her eyes. “What, am I not a royal anymore? Do I not deserve the palanquin?” 

Zuko looked confused for a moment before his eyes lit up with understanding and a tad bit of guilt, Azula was happy to report.

“Oh! No. I don’t use palanquins. I don’t like having people carrying me places. It feels… wrong.”

Azula raised her eyebrows. “The Avatar really has been rubbing off on you, Zuzu. You’re turning into a pacifist, and besides, they’re just  _ servants _ . Who cares about the lower class?”

Zuko looked mad at that. Huh. 

“Azula. They are still Fire Nation civilians. We should care about  _ all  _ people, no matter their class.”

Azula shrugged as she stepped into the carriage before the Fire Lord could. She still had the power in this dynamic. Excellent.

“Whatever you say, Big Bro.”

The ride to the palace was tense. Azula didn’t like how Zuko kept staring at her like he was trying to decipher her secrets. She knows that he has been wary about her mental health, but really, Azula is  _ fine _ . That breakdown was  _ nothing _ . She can bounce back, she is sure of it. 

“Zuko, you can stop staring at me, I’m fine.” She said after her brother seemed to be completely lost in thought. 

Zuko looked startled. “Oh!” He stares out the window for a few moments. Azula assumed he was just trying to collect his thoughts. “It’s just that… Katara and I both saw you after the uh… fight… and you didn’t look— so good.”

“You’ve always had a way with words, brother,” Azula deadpanned.

Zuko groaned. “I guess what I’m trying to ask is, are you actually okay?”

Azula sighed. How many times does her brother need to hear this? She’s fine. Everything is fine. It’s been a couple of days since she last saw Mother. She’s  _ not  _ going crazy. Father will make this all better once she can get it out of someone where he  _ actually is _ . 

Instead of opting to tell Zuko this, Azula just decided on, “Yes.”

Hey, if it works, it works. 

The rest of the carriage ride was just filled with the peasants outside flocking to try to get a glimpse at her (or maybe it’s Zuko since he is the Fire Lord. Whatever. They probably were going to betray her someday too. It doesn’t matter that they were just measly peasants with no significance in her life. When she’s Fire Lord she’ll banish the lot of them. Okay. Maybe she got a little sidetracked there.) and the sounds of the komodo rhinoceroses snorting. Disgusting. This is why she prefers the palanquin, ‘cause at least then she can yell at the people carrying her. Or perhaps the war balloons. 

When they had reached the Fire Palace, Zuko seemed stubborn about getting out first. She’ll let him have this victory. Azula will get more in the future anyway. 

The servants were either staring at her or avoiding eye contact. Good. She’s making a presence for herself here, again. Eventually, she’ll have to banish most of them to start over when she is Fire Lord, but it’s a start. 

Zuko led her through the palace like she had not  _ lived  _ here all her life, and brought her to her old bedroom. Azula stood outside her door. She wasn’t sure why she felt so hesitant to open it. 

“A guard will be posted outside your door at all times. And Azula-“

Azula took her gaze off the door handle to take a look at her brother’s hardened expression. 

“-don’t do anything stupid.”

_ Stupid.  _ As if.  _ She  _ was the smart one, Zuzu. 

“Of course, Big Brother. Whatever you say.” Azula bowed respectfully to him, even if she exaggerated it a little bit, and opened the door before she could, for lack of a better term, komodo chicken out. 

Azula did not like that she even considered letting her  _ own  _ fear dictate her again. She  _ really  _ hated that cage. 

The room was… different than she expected. The mirror had been replaced, but after careful inspection, Azula found a single shard of the old glass under a small table. She pocketed it for safekeeping, though she wasn’t exactly sure why. Azula continued to search the rest of the room for any signs of tampering. Zuko may have seemed sincere up to this point, but Azula has learned from her past mistakes. Even the most sincere people will betray you. Personal experience. But hey, she’s stronger now. ( At least that’s what she likes to tell herself ). 

After thoroughly inspecting the room, Azula finally felt somewhat safe. She glanced at herself in the mirror and almost blanched at her appearance. 

Wow. A few weeks in a prison and she really had let herself go. Her hair wasn’t the silky smooth black hair she was used to seeing. It was tangled and  _ greasy.  _ Her eyes had dark bags. Azula didn’t get eye bags. She had lost some weight, and her nails weren’t done. After getting so used to seeing perfection in the mirror, this  _ monstrosity  _ would not do. 

She opened a drawer and found a jade comb. It would be fine for now. Slowly, she began to try to comb through her locks, but it wasn’t going her way. Her hair was threatening to stay knotted, but Azula will not let it get the best of her. She kept trying to tug the comb through even though the  _ traitorous thing  _ would not brush through. She let out a frustrated scream and threw the comb across the room to watch it shatter on the ground. Serves it right. 

Suddenly, Zuko came rushing into her room, unannounced. Wow. Her big brother has become  _ rude  _ just after a few weeks of being Fire Lord. 

“The guard said he heard someone scream and something break,” he said, in a panic. “Are you alright Azula?”

Azula smiled as sweetly as she could muster. “Are you worried about me, Zuzu? You don’t need to be,” she gestured to the broken jade comb lying sadly on the floor, “I got rid of the comb who was disrespecting me. It has already met it’s doom, as you can see.”

Azula thought it sounded perfectly reasonable, but Zuko just looked concerned. 

“Azula, you’re sure you are alright?”

Azula scoffed. “Brother, you can be so naive sometimes. When things or people make a mockery out of you, you must get rid of them immediately. That is the only reliable way to make sure no one will betray you.  _ You  _ must get rid of them  _ first _ .” 

Zuko took another glance at the broken comb. “I was going to ask if you would like to join me and Uncle for some dinner, but perhaps you should get some rest—“

“Rest? Ha. I don’t need  _ rest _ . I’ve been sitting in the cage you put me in for the past couple of weeks getting  _ rest _ . I just need to do something before I actually go crazy.”

At least Zuko looked slightly guilty at that. “It wasn’t a cage, Azula. It was a place meant to help you. I’m not sure it did much though—“ 

“Nonsense, brother. Now. I need a servant who can wash my hair and give me my royal garments.”

Zuko nodded. “Right. Yes, of course. I’ll send for someone.”

Azula watched as he left. Sometimes he just made it so  _ easy  _ for her, so readily manipulated. It’s a gift from Agni that he hasn’t been usurped for the throne by a General yet. 

Eventually, as he promised, Azula heard a knock on the door before a timid looking servant that she’d never seen before stepped inside the room. 

“You requested me, Princess?” The servant said, a slight tremble to her voice. 

Azula looked at her nails, despite their ugly appearance. The girl stood awkwardly, shifting her weight from foot to foot. If she were to attack, Azula could probably get the upper hand by knocking her off her feet. Azula wasn’t fooled by anyone anymore. She had to be ready to be betrayed by anyone. That way, no one would ever hurt her again. 

“Miss?” The young servant tried again. 

Huh. So she’s a little braver than originally thought.

“What is your name?”

The servant looked back at her dumbly. “What?” 

After Azula raised eyebrows, the servant quickly amended what she said.

“What, ma’am?”

“What. Is. Your. Name?”

“Eui, miss.”

The girl looked like she wanted to shrink into herself. Ha. 

“Tell me something, Eui. When you knock on a door, and no one answers, what do you do?” 

Azula looked at the servant expectantly, who was staring at her feet.

“Miss?”

Azula exhaled loudly, which made the servant flinch. 

“Well,  _ Eui _ , when you come into  _ my  _ room, first you knock. Then, if no one answers, you knock again. But if no one answers  _ again,  _ you request  _ from the outside  _ if you are given permission to come inside. Now, tell me  _ Eui  _ did you do any of this?”

The servant looked close to tears. Poor thing. 

“N-no, Princess.”

Azula narrowed her eyes, you know, for extra effect. 

“It would do you well to remember it next time. I don’t care what my brother allows you, peasants, to do here. When you are in  _ my  _ presence you abide by  _ my  _ rules. One last thing Eui. Do I look like my brother to you?”

Eui paused like she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say. 

“Er- no ma’am.” 

Azula smiled, though she was sure it wasn’t comforting. 

“Right. So don’t go  _ assuming  _ how I want things done in my palace.”

Eui nodded and bowed. 

Azula sighed and sat down in front of her mirror. “I’ll allow it in this instance since I need my hair and nails done immediately.”

The servant quickly scurried over and began working diligently. Once she was done, Azula felt at least satisfied when she looked in the mirror. While the eye bags were still present, all the other issues seemed to be taken care of. Her new robes hid her new, thinner, figure well.

“You’re dismissed.” 

Azula had never seen a servant so carefully exit a room. Good. Now, she’s learned her lesson. Perhaps when Azula is Fire Lord she can stay. 

Mai ( and Mother ) were wrong. Fear  _ is  _ the only reliable way to keep people from betraying you. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting interesting... I hope you liked the fic so far. I'm pretty happy with how it came along, and I hope you are too. As always, I love comments and kudos so thank you for those. The next chapter will probably come out tomorrow!


	3. Part 3: The Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula finally goes to Ember Island, but things don’t always go as one plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasssupppp! I’m here with the next chapter! (I also updated my Marvel fanfiction if you wanna check that out. It’s ongoing and not as regularly updated lol, but I still love it dearly.) I hope you appreciate part 3 of the fic, it’s one of my favorites because Azula begins to make some life changing realization (roll credits). Anyway, enjoy!

Dinner was… a tense affair. Somehow, the servant girl had been  _ crying  _ too loudly, and Fire Lord Zuko heard about it. After he berated her about treating the staff with kindness, Azula still felt annoyed. She had thought that maybe the servant girl could stay, but turns out she’s just weak. 

Finding reliable people is such a hassle. 

The old geezer kept trying to act like Azula hadn’t been gone at all, which for some reason bothered her more than if he was asking her a bunch of questions on it. 

It’s fine. A lot of things were bothering her these days. At least the food was adequate enough. Azula carefully picked out only the dishes Uncle or Zuko had eaten out of, just to make sure it wasn’t poisoned. (Which really was really annoying, because both Zuko and Uncle seemed to not want to touch  _ her  _ favorite dish, the komodo sausage.) Azula was fully aware that she could not trust anyone anymore, not even her family. (Especially her family.)

The geezer spoke up, “So. Azula. How have you been?”

“Well, you know about as well as I’d be after being locked up.”

The old dragon didn’t even give her the satisfaction of changing his facial expression. 

“That’s very good. I, for one, have been very busy in my tea shop. Perhaps you should try some jasmine or ginger tea, niece. They can be very calming.”

Azula made a face. “Tea shop?”

Zuko grimaced. “Don’t ask.”

The rest of the dinner went about as well as one could expect. Azula found out that she could probably exploit Uncle’s tea shop in some way or another, and she wasn’t hungry anymore, so overall, a success. As she was about to excuse herself, Zuko volunteered to walk Azula back to her room.

“Aw, scared I might get lost, Zuzu?”

“No. Scared you might light something on fire.”

Azula smirked as she walked side by side with her brother. She had hoped the dinner would’ve revealed what Zuko had that she didn’t, but no matter. She had the next few days to figure it out before she was to make her great escape. When they reached Azula’s room, Zuko’s arm shot out and held onto hers before she went inside.

Zuko has gotten more confrontational. That could also be useful in the future.

“Azula.”

“Yes, Big Brother?” She asked innocently.

“Please, don’t terrorize my staff.” 

Azula just laughed and went inside. 

~

She’s only been out of the prison for a couple of days, but Azula was starting to feel like herself again. Sort of. 

The eye bags she wore had gotten much worse, but that wasn’t even her fault. Ever since she had arrived at the palace, she couldn’t go to sleep without nightmares plaguing her dreams. 

Mostly, they were just reliving the moment Father had left her or the Agni Kai. She got why the latter was a nightmare, but whenever the first dream occurred, she woke up in a cold sweat, hyperventilating. 

That should be a  _ good  _ memory, right? The moment Father entrusted her with the Fire Nation. But in dreamworld, it didn’t seem to be.

Zuko could never know about this. He’d probably use it to take her down. And just like any other weakness, Azula would get rid of it eventually. 

Despite her nighttime terror, Azula was excited. Today was the day her brother took her to Ember Island. What he hoped to achieve with her, she didn’t know, but what she  _ did  _ know is that she was one step closer to reaching her ultimate goal. Power. That’s what she  _ really  _ wanted. Power is constant. Power will bring her happiness, Azula was sure of it. 

Azula had finally figured out why she wasn’t happy before the Fire Sages crowned her. It was  _ obviously  _ because the crown was not on her head yet. The moment she is announced as Fire Lord, Azula is sure she will finally be happy. It’s the only way she can explain the way she was feeling. 

No matter. One shouldn’t dwell too much on the past.

Azula followed Zuko up the plank to the converted war ship-turned-transportation, and took in the view. While they were pretty far away from the palace, she could still feel a weird emotion tugging at her heart anytime she looked at it. Azula automatically reached into her pocket to make sure the glass shard was still there, which it was.

Azula didn’t know  _ why  _ she kept the shard, by all means she should have thrown that thing into the sea at first chance, but she just couldn’t. It felt like a reminder of sorts. A representation of the downward spiral that she could never allow herself to go through again. 

As Agni as her witness Azula didn’t know if she could physically bear to be in that much turmoil and pain again. She  _ knew  _ she couldn’t. It really did not feel great to have a weakness.

Father would be disappointed. The thought made her shudder. 

Eventually the ship started moving and Azula just stood at the helm, letting herself forget about all her issues, just for a moment. It had felt like the sun had moved only a couple degrees to the West when Zuko had come up behind her. They were going to dock soon. 

~ 

Ember Island hadn’t really changed that much since Azula had last been there. The moment she stepped into the old beach house, she heard a ghostly voice echo around her,  _ Ember Island reveals the true you _ .

Immediately, she whipped around to find no one there.

Now that was odd. 

Zuko was still lagging behind, because although it brought great distress on the servants, he had insisted on carrying his own bag up to the home. That was to be expected though. Zuko was never one to follow the traditional customs of the royal family. Maybe that was what made him different from her. 

Azula was a traditionalist. She liked everything to be done the correct way. The perfect way. So she wasn’t traditional in the same sense the eighty year old Generals were, she was traditional in her philosophy. 

Zuko was the opposite. He kept breaking norms, changing the Fire Nation customs, and being an all around headache to deal with. In fact, Azula thought smugly, he could not even bend lightning. 

The idea that a Fire Lord couldn’t bend lightning was almost unheard of. Of course, Zuzu could do his little redirecting trick, but it wasn’t the same. Just another example of how Azula was  _ clearly  _ better. 

Now if she could just figure out what in Agni Zuko possessed, she would be unstoppable.

“Azula?”

Azula looked towards the doorway. Her brother has finally gotten here. “Took you long enough, brother.”

Zuko glared at her and set down his bag. “Whatever. I just wanted to ask if you’d like to go to the market today. I heard the servants mention that they were going to buy ingredients for our dinner tonight, so I thought it could be an excursion.” 

Azula thought about the suggestion carefully. “I suppose we are here for a couple days. The market sounds acceptable.” 

Zuko gave her a small smile. “Great. I’ll meet you at the entrance. Your guards will be with you at all times.”

Azula gave her best ‘ _ I actually hate this but I’m going to pretend like I don’t mind it for the sake of keeping appearances’  _ smile. It was great for the stuffy noble balls she used to be required to attend. 

“Thank you, brother,” she said sweetly.

After he had left, Azula searched the entire beach house for possible escapes. The guards were looking at her funny, but she didn’t care. She had been given a second chance, and she  _ wouldn’t  _ waste it. After she was confident that she could come up with a plan to get out by tonight, she made her way to the entrance of the Ember Island Market. It was a short walk, perhaps five minutes, and  _ usually  _ Azula would request the palanquin, but alas, Zuko had banned them. 

Azula decided that that would be one of her first proclamations when she became Fire Lord, reinstate the palanquin. They’re very convenient. 

However, when she arrived at her destination, Azula was presented with a sight that was very… disturbing. 

Zuko was teaching a little child how to use his wooden sword. Azula observed as he demonstrated movements that she recognized as one of the first sets they taught at the palace. Azula had learned it when she was six, before Father began focusing all her training on firebending. The child was laughing, and Zuko was smiling proudly. It made Azula feel weird about approaching her brother.

After standing a distance away with her arms crossed for a short while, Zuko finally looked up and noticed her. He gave her a sheepish smile and motioned her over.

“Hey, Azula.”

“Hello…” she said slowly, avoiding eye contact with the child who was staring up at her.

The kid had impossibly big eyes, like a doll’s. “Wow. Are you a princess?” 

Zuko snorted as Azula nodded.

“You’re really pretty,” the child said, blushing. 

Azula looked down at him, feigning disgust even though a smile was threatening to reach her lips. “I’m too old for you.”

The kid kept staring at her. Ugh, children are so  _ creepy _ .

“And out of you league. Now, shoo. I have to talk with my brother.”

The kid didn’t look phased as he shrugged and ran off to continue playing with his allies— friends. 

Zuko nudged her. “That could pass as being sort of nice.”

Azula glared at him. “I told him I was better than him and then told him to leave. That doesn’t sound too  _ kind,  _ brother.”

“It was nice in Azula standards.” 

Azula punched him in the shoulder, hard. 

Oh, she was becoming nice now? Huh.

Together, they walked down the street. Most of the civilians—  _ peasants  _ moved out of the way. Azula wasn’t sure if they knew Zuko was the Fire Lord or if they saw the guards and expensive robes and just assumed they were nobles.

After it had been an hour or so, Zuko bought them fire flakes and komodo sausages to snack on. Azula was sure it was coincidence that they were both her favorite snacks. 

Later in the night, Azula even saw a couple of kids playing  _ Avatar _ . She had to admit, watching her brother be portrayed by a seven year old child shouting ‘ _ honor’  _ over and over again was hysterical. It was probably the most comedic thing she had ever seen. Zuko didn’t look too pleased, but that made it even funnier. 

The group walked back to the beach house once the servants were confident they had enough ingredients. 

As she was walking by her brother’s side, Azula felt something begin to bloom in her chest. It was a new feeling, and Azula had no idea what it was. She looked to her right to see Zuko looking up at the moon and smiling. Azula looked back to the path ahead of her.

Was this— was this what being happy felt like? Is this contentment? Azula wasn’t exactly sure, but maybe… just maybe… she could allow herself to feel like this more often. It felt nice. She never felt this way around Father. 

Oh yeah. Father.

He’d probably say she was wasting her time. She should be  _ training,  _ she should be acting like her Father’s loyal soldier, not messing around at Ember Island.

The thought pulled her back into reality. Get out of dreamworld Azula. Get it together. You have a  _ mission _ . 

“So…” Azula started awkwardly. She might as well get to the point. “Where is Father?”

Zuko’s gaze shot to hers. They locked eyes. “What? Why?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I just haven’t heard about him in a while. How are you keeping him in check?”

Zuko narrowed his eyes at her. Time to pull out her secret weapon.

“ _ Zuzu _ , I’m just curious,” she pouted. 

It may be undignified, but Zuko always fell for it.

“Well, he’s in a maximum security cell at Capital City Prison. The Earth Kingdom wanted to take him, but Aang managed to let us keep him, for now.”

_ Got you.  _

“Really? How in Agni has he not burnt the place down by now?”

Zuko was looking at her funny before something seemed to click in his brain. 

“Oh. I suppose you wouldn’t know about that.”

Azula stopped walking and crossed her arms. She  _ hated  _ not being in the know. 

“Know about what?” She asked carefully.

Zuko looked like he was trying to phrase his response in his head. 

“Well, you see, Aang— the Avatar— he took away Father’s bending.”

_ What. _

The Avatar took away a Fire Lord’s bending? Azula’s hand unconsciously touched her chest where she could feel her inner flame, always there, always a comfort. Even in Azula’s lowest of lows (and she went  _ really  _ low) she had her inner fire. She couldn’t imagine life without it— and the Avatar was able to just take that away? 

Zuko looked uncomfortable in Azula’s sudden silence. 

“Azula?” He tried.

“I— I need to go.”

Azula sprinted away from Zuko. She had always been faster than him anyway. 

_ She was such an idiot.  _ She had let herself become comfortable around her brother. She had sworn to herself she would never let it happen again, yet it did. If Zuko was willing to take away Father’s bending, he was probably willing to take Azula’s too. Her fire was her  _ everything.  _ She was nothing without it. She was an empty shell. He hadn’t even bothered to tell her. Ozai was Azula’s father too.

_ Zuko would betray her too. Just like everyone else _ . 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooof, that was wild. Azula was just beginning to change too :(. I hope you enjoyed that! Next chapter out tomorrow! Comments and kudos are gladly accepted as always!


	4. Part 4: The Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula and Zuko have a very enlightening conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy! The new chapter is now here! I hope y’all like it, it’s probably the most important of the series lol. I’ll let you read for now... more of my thoughts in the end notes!

Azula didn’t know where she was running, but she found herself on the beach before she even realized what she was doing. She looked around and saw the fire pit in the same place as when she was last here with Mai and Ty Lee. 

Azula let out a pained scream as hot blue flames erupted from her hands and into the fire pit. The blue didn’t melt into the normal shade of orange until Azula had unclenched her fists. 

The feeling in her chest was completely gone now, replaced with a familiar sense of sorrow and confusion. 

And suddenly, Azula began laughing. She was such a fool, making the same mistakes over and over again. Mother was wrong. Azula had begun to think that _maybe_ she could try using love instead of fear; that she could try to obtain happiness.

She was becoming weak… but everything could be reversed. 

She stared into the fire, somehow seeing her own reflection in the flames. The image washed away and was replaced with Father, looking intently at her.

“I’m sorry, Father. I won’t let it happen again.” 

Father nodded and turned away. Gone.

“I thought I might find you here,” said a voice.

Azula turned to see Zuko, his topknot slightly disheveled. Probably from running.

“Go away, I don’t want to see you,” Azula replied, trying to keep her tone even. She instinctively reached in her pocket to grip her mirror shard. 

“I think I need to explain some things to you.”

Azula turned away from him. “I don’t want to hear anything from you,” she spat, like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. 

“I guess— first, I wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

Azula wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but it wasn’t that.

“I should’ve helped you after our Agni Kai. I shouldn’t have put you in the mental institution. But… it’s just… I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid you would be a danger to yourself and others. It just seemed like the best option at the time. I also should’ve told you about Father’s— condition.”

“Whatever, I don’t care.”

Zuko looked pained. “Azula…”

Azula crossed her legs as she sat down on a log. “I don’t care that you conveniently decided to leave out such an important detail. What I do care about is that you let the Avatar take Father’s Fire away in the first place.”

Zuko buried his head in his hands for a moment before glancing back at her. “We didn’t have a choice, Azula. If we had let him keep his bending, the war would never end. Aang couldn’t _kill_ him, so this was the only way.”

And honestly, Azula knew this. Deep down. But that wouldn’t stop her from feeling betrayed. 

“Oh yeah? We were so close to _winning_ the war, Zuko.”

“At the expense of thousands of people dying because of the Fire Nation!”

“So what?”

Zuko clenched his fists. “So, I won’t stand by when peoples’, _good peoples’,_ lives are destroyed by the Fire Nation. There is no honor in that.”

Azula shot up pointing two fingers at Zuko, who flinched. “It’s always ‘ _honor’_ with you. Fire Lord Zuko, the only honorable member of our family besides maybe the old dragon. Zuko the good. Zuko the brave. I was the perfect daughter. I followed all my orders.”

Zuko wasn’t saying anything, so Azula continued, her grip on her shard becoming so tight, red blood was beginning to drip down her hands.

“You know, I can’t figure out what you hoped to accomplish on the trip. Did you think we’d become perfect siblings? Did you think you could fix my problems? 

“Or, on second thought, am I an inconvenience for you? Did you bring me on this trip so you could wait until I inevitably screwed up? Maybe then you could ask your friend _the Avatar_ if he could take away my bending too.”

“Well, I figured out your little plan Zuko. I’ll be perfectly behaved for the rest of the trip, and until you throw me back into my little cage. You may think you’ve won, but you can’t betray me if I already know exactly what you’re up to.”

Azula stared at Zuko, breathing heavily. What would he do next? Attack her? She could take him. If she blew smoke in his direction before he could see where she was going, it would give her a head start—

Wait a minute. 

Zuko was _crying?_

Was this a ploy to distract her? The smoke plan could still work, she’d just have to—

Wait, why is Zuko coming over to her? 

_Why is he hugging her?_

“Azula, what happened to you?” He said so meekly, it was sad really.

“What happened to me? _What happened to me? You happened to me_ ,” she shouted, all the anger and hatred she had for her brother finally pouring out.

Zuko took a step back, like she had physically struck him, hurt written all over his face. “What? What does that mean?”

Azula took out her mirror shard, which was now bloodied, and held it in the palm of her hand. “Zuko, whenever I used to look in the mirror, I’d see Father’s perfect soldier. I thought I saw something he would be proud of. But lately, all I see is this pathetic weak girl who will always lose to her big brother. It’s _always_ you, Zuzu. And I just don’t understand why.”

Azula didn’t know what possessed her to say it, to tell Zuko to his face what she thought of him. All she knew is that once she had started, there was no way she would stop.

Zuko looked incredulous. “It’s always me? I was banished by Father when I was thirteen. You were the prodigy that he favored. It was always _you_ Azula.”

Azula felt her inner flame roar. 

“I _knew_ you wouldn’t understand. Poor Zuko. The banished prince. The lesser sibling. The traitor, the screw-up. Father may have _favored_ me, sure, which is the obvious outcome since I was way ahead of you in terms of talent. You would _think_ it would be me who wins in the end, but everyone loves you Zuko. Everyone chooses you! You’re Fire Lord. Mai and Ty Lee chose you. Mother loved you, not me. No one cares about me. Even Father cared more about himself than he does about me. You have _everything_.”

Azula laughed out into the open beach, the campfire flaming up. 

“But this is a good thing right? Having connections is a weakness. I should be _glad,_ but I’m not. I’m miserable, Zuko. When we last came here I couldn’t bring myself to reveal that much to you, or Ty Lee, or Mai. You know why? Because I always have to be perfect. I can’t show that I’m anything less than perfect.”

Azula felt the burning fire in her chest die down.

“You left me with nothing. Just like you always will, because I can never win against you, Zuko. No matter what I do. No matter what I achieve. It’s always going to be you, Zuzu.”

Zuko was looking at her with an expression that Azula couldn’t read. And she could always read Zuko. 

“I bet you’re wondering why I’m telling you this,” she said, gaging his reaction, “I suppose I have nothing to lose now. Father is powerless, you’re Fire Lord, and as soon as this trip is over, I’m going back to the cage.” Azula gazed up to the sky, almost _wistfully_. “I should just admit defeat and be done with it.”

Zuko stood up so suddenly that Azula jumped. “What are we doing, Azula?”

“What?”

“Why must we continue fighting like this? Why do we have to compete in everything we do? I haven’t _won_ because this isn’t an Agni Kai. My sister would never give in. She would never accept defeat.”

Azula glared at him. “I just spilled all my _feelings_ to you. Maybe you should’ve realized that your sister is gone now.”

Zuko looked thoughtful for a moment. “No. Who you’ve been lately isn’t my sister. I think my sister is just lost. I think she’s been lost for a very long time, and is just now beginning to understand herself. I think I know what you’re missing, Azula.”

Azula stared at her older brother, almost like it was the first time she was truly seeing him. 

“Zuko—,” she warned.

“The thing that you need, that you’ve been missing all this time. The thing that I have that you’re convinced makes me better than you.”

Azula stood up to match her brother. Even though this was what she had wanted from the beginning, she had a terrible feeling about what he was about to say. “Zuko, I don’t want to hear it.”

“What you’re missing—,” he continued.

“Zuzu—“

“—is love.”

As soon as he said it, the fire went crazy. It started jumping out at them, like long orange limbs trying to coerce Azula closer. 

Zuko stared at her, expecting her to say something, but she couldn’t. Azula truly was at a loss for words. (Azula was never at a loss for words... at least until lately.)

And then, a dagger came flying out of nowhere, piercing her older brother’s shoulder. Azula watched in horror, as the Fire Lord crumpled to the ground. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So that was unexpected now wasn’t it. Nothing like a good old assassination to spice things up. Anyway, I wanted to explain where Zuko and Azula were coming from in their arguments. Zuko knew Ozai favored his sister, so he automatically thought she had it better than him, but remember, Azula lost everything. What made her spiral was the fact that her friends choosing Zuko, her Mother supposedly loving Zuko more than her, and the fear of not being good enough. Zuko became Fire Lord, he technically won the Agni Kai, not her. In Azula’s mind, Zuko always succeeds while she gets the short end of the stick. Zuko realizes this after she expresses her feelings and realizes that what she’s missing is someone who will be there for her. She needs to stop comparing herself to others and having a soldier mentality. Zuko realizes that she needs what Iroh gave him or she will be lost forever. Azula just needs love :(. Those are just my ideas when writing! Comment if you have something to add, they are always appreciated! I love kudos too!!! Thank you!


	5. Part 5 - The Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula feels at odds with herself, causing memories that have been suppressed to resurface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Here’s the newest chapter! (There’s only one left to go...) I hope you like it. Stay safe! (More notes in the end)

Now was her chance. She could escape if she wanted to. The guards were too busy trying to get Zuko to the town hospital to even pay attention to her… but her legs wouldn’t move. All she could think about was Zuko, and what Zuko had said. 

Truth be told, she didn’t know exactly what to make of it. It went against everything she was taught by Father and her teachers. Azula didn’t need  _ love _ . Love was for fools, right? 

But suddenly she remembered.

It was her last truly happy memory. 

~ 

_ Azula and Zuko had been playing dragons.  _

_ “Azula, watch this!”  _

_ Zuko thrust his palm out, a small orange flame erupted.  _

_ Azula watched in awe. Why couldn’t she start firebending yet? _

_ She asked Zuko this much. _

_ He laughed. “You’re not old enough, Zula. I don’t think Mother wants you to yet.” _

_ Azula crossed her arms. “Father wants me to. I heard them arguing. Father says I’m a progy.”  _

_ “Prodigy?” _

_ “Yeah, that. What does it mean?” _

_ Zuko thought hard for a moment. “It means naturally gifted, I think.” _

_ “Well, Dad says I’m that!” _

_ Zuko patted her on the shoulder. “That’s great Zula.” _

_ “Zuko! Azula!” _

_ “Mother!” Azula and Zuko ran to their Mother, who grinned at the sight of them. _

_ “We must go inside now, children. It looks like it will rain soon.” _

_ Azula hurriedly followed her mother, her little legs struggling to keep up. Eventually they reached Mother’s bedroom. Azula never thought it was weird that Mother and Father didn’t stay in the same room. It was normal for her. _

_ “Mother! Can you sing the song again?” Zuko asked. _

_ Azula made a face. “Not the one about the goat dogs.” _

_ Mother smiled at both of them. “Okay, I’ll sing the song. Not the one about the goat dogs.” _

_ Azula got settled in her bed, along with Zuko, both of them leaning on Mother.  _

_ “The jasmine flower falling, _

_ Sweet smelling, peaceful bloom. _

_ And if you hear them calling, _

_ For sure, you’ll find your truth. _

_ The jasmine flower falling, _

_ Greets the peaceful dove _

_ And if you hear them calling, _

_ For sure, it’s your true love.” _

_ Zuko sighed contentedly while Azula shook Mother’s arm.  _

_ “Again, again!” She cried. _

_ Mother smiled warmly at her. “Oh, alright. But after, you two need to get ready for the formal feast with your father. I hear he has an important announcement today.” _

_ “Yes, Mother!” Azula said, bearing her toothy grin. _

_ They laid there. Together. As a family. There was love. There was happiness. What Azula didn’t know was that her life would soon change right after, when Ozai announced to the world that his prodigious daughter would begin her firebending training. _

_ ~  _

Azula stared into fire. That memory had come out of nowhere. 

_ Why did she have to remember that now? _

What was wrong with her? She just didn’t understand. Where was Zuko now? 

_ No, it doesn’t matter where Zuko is. _

But… is he okay? 

_ No. The old Azula would get out of here as fast as she could. _

Someone tried to kill Zuko. 

_ You shouldn’t care.  _

“ _ Shut up!”  _ Azula screamed, covering her ears. The voices in her head just won’t stop. 

“Azula.”

Her mother was there, talking to her through the single shard of glass that she was still held tightly in her grip.

“No. I can’t handle this anymore. The voices, the visions, the nightmares.  _ I can’t do it Mom. _ ”

Azula’s tears came pouring down her face, as her legs gave out and she fell to the sand. 

“You’re the strongest person I know, Azula.”

“ _Stop lying._ I’m pathetic and weak. I— I don’t even know who I am anymore. I thought Father loved me, but he— he didn't. Not any more than he does for Zuko, anyway. I was only his asset. I thought I knew what I wanted. But I don’t anymore, Mom. The voices in my head keep fighting. What should I do? I don’t know what to do.”

“You’ll do what’s right, Azula.”

“What? I don’t understand? What’s right?” Azula cried.

“I believe in you, Azula.” 

“Mom, I need help.”

Her mother smiled. “You’ll find your way.”

Azula didn’t know what Mother was saying. Her grip on the mirror piece was becoming uncomfortably tight.

“This may be the last time I see you, Azula.”

“No, Mom. I still need you. You can’t leave me. I realize that you haven’t been out to get me. Please,” Azula begged, “don’t leave me, again.” 

Mother reached out, even though she was in the glass shard. “Take care of your brother, Azula. You will need each other these coming few years. I will always love you.”

And with that, she faded.

“No! No! Mother! Please come back! Please come back! No! I need answers!” 

Azula sat there, alone. Her mother was gone, for good. 

What did it all mean? She needed to do what’s right? She needed love? Mother had just said she needed to take care of Zuko. Zuko who had just been attacked… 

And suddenly, Azula knew what she needed to do at that very moment. She wiped the remaining tears from her face, and leaped through the trees, letting her years of training and instincts lead her to the perpetrator. The one who tried to  _ kill  _ her brother. 

He was standing with his hood up, staring into the town where Zuko was being treated.

“Found you.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It’s one of my favorites. The song was entirely made up, but based on lyrics to traditional Chinese folk songs. The tune is also up to interpretation, but if you listen to Panda Lily in the Avatar Soundtrack, it kind of gives off that vibe. 
> 
> I would also like to take this time to ask you all, if you have not already, sign petitions and spread awareness for the BLM movement. If you are protesting, remember to keep you face covered! Thank you everyone! Every human should care for one another!


	6. Part 6 - The Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula comes to terms with herself. (Also kicks ass.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I hope you enjoyed this wild ride! The ending notes are going to be Thick, so I’ll keep this short. Thank you everyone for reading! This fic came about because of a spark of inspiration, so I’m glad it’s been well received. Please read the ending notes for more info! Enjoy!

The man spun around as Azula got her bright blue fire at the ready. If this man wanted a fight, he would get one. 

But the man did something unexpected. He immediately bowed to her.

“Fire Lord Azula, I knew you would find me.”

_What_. Fire Lord Azula? Now, that was weird.

“Who are you? And what do you want?”

The man stood and took off his hood. “I am a member of the Dai Li. You probably don’t remember me, for I was always standing in the back, but I remember you.”

Azula raised her eyebrows. “Go on.”

The man took a step closer. “I will always be loyal to you, Fire Lord Azula. The Lightning Bender. The One with the Blue Fire. I saw your traitorous brother was keeping you, so I got rid of him for you. You can finally become Fire Lord, just as it was always meant to be.”

Azula crosses her arms. Was this guy dumb?

“What’re you talking about? Just because you decided to play with knives, doesn’t mean anything. Zuko is still on the throne. They aren’t going to let him die of some measly little dagger wound. It wasn’t even to the heart.”

The assassin grinned. “That’s where you’re wrong, Princess. Fire Lord Zuko will fall tonight.”

The assassin revealed his hand, it was severely burnt. 

“I sacrificed so much to make that ritual work.”

Azula leaned back, disgusted. She did not want to see his deformed hand.

“What ritual?”

“Fire Lord Zuko will keep bleeding until he draws his last breath. I enchanted the dagger so the wounds inflicted from it will be resistant to any normal method. Common medicine won’t work. It’s a shame his waterbending friend won’t be here in time,” the man smirked. “The only thing that could save him now is _blue fire_. Isn’t that wonderful?”

A gust of heavy wind shook the rooftop, but Azula stood still. 

How ironic. Azula was the only one who could save Zuko. Despite everything that had happened with mother, she still had a chance. This man was obviously loyal to her, and with Zuko gone, she could have everything she wanted. She could complete step three of her plan. But was that what she wanted anymore?

_You’ll do what’s right, Azula._

She screamed in frustration. “It’s just all too _confusing_.”

The Dai Li agent looked at her weirdly, “Miss?”

_What you’re missing is love._

Azula knew that her old self would jump at this opportunity. (Since when did she have an _old self._ ) She knew that this was a sure way to get power, but—

She thrust a wave of blue fire at the assassin, with deadly accuracy. If he had not been a Dai Li agent, surely he would’ve been hit. 

The man looked betrayed as he crouched to the ground to catch his breath.

Serves him right.

“What’re you doing? I did all of this for you! Don’t you want to rule the Fire Nation? Was it not good enough for you? Why would you—“

Azula thought for a moment before she cut him off. 

“I don’t know exactly why I’m doing this, but I do know one thing.”

She pointed two fingers at the man. A bolt of lightning charred the roof where he stood before he leaped out of the way.

“You miscalculated,” she stated in a way that was vaguely reminiscent of Mai. 

“I am loyal to the Fire Lord.”

The man narrowed his eyes and took out another dagger. “You’ll regret this.” 

Azula smiled. “No,” she said as she readied her fire for another strike. “ _You’ll_ regret this.”

The man tried to jump out of the way again, but Azula was faster. Her senses were heightened, so he really didn’t stand a chance. His bad arm was struck with lightning, and he howled in pain. Azula smiled as the moron tried to charge her. She easily sidestepped and hit him off the roof in one swoop. Yikes. She hadn’t meant to hit him that hard. 

Azula gracefully jumped off the top of the building and walked over to the Dai Li agent. He was unconscious, how pathetic. 

A group of civilians had started to crowd around her. She glared at them. They backed away. 

Azula looked back to the man. He was willing to assassinate the Fire Lord just to please her, and she had thrown the opportunity away. And for what? For Zuko?

That didn’t seem exactly right. 

Azula took the unconscious man by the arm and dragged him to where her guards were talking in hushed tones. 

Azula cleared her throat. 

One of them looked up, his eyes widened in surprise. 

“Princess Azula! You… actually came back. And you brought someone with you—?”

“Yes, Guard. Here is the assassin who attempted to murder my brother, your Fire Lord. I expect you’ll take it from here.” She kicked the man to their feet. 

The other guard’s mouth fell open. It was so undignified, like a koi fish.

“Yes, Your Highness, right way. Though— if you don’t mind me asking, how did you find the uh— perpetrator?” 

Azula looked at her nails. “Isn’t it obvious? He came to me. I took care of him. End of story. Now, where’s my brother?”

The guards looked at her dumbly for a moment before realizing she was growing impatient. 

“Right. I’m not sure how Fire Lord Zuko is doing, but… second door on the left.”

Azula was about to leave before she did something _unthinkable_.

“Well… thank you,” she said slowly. Quickly leaving before the guards had a chance to see the hint of red that was beginning to blush her cheeks. 

Azula was never good at giving thanks. Orders, yes, anything else, not really; but if she was really turning over a new leaf, perhaps she should start. 

Suddenly, it occurred to her. Zuko was _bleeding out._

Agni have mercy on her soul.

The doctors in the room were looking worse for wear. Zuko was noticeably pale, and the dagger was still embedded in his shoulder. 

A doctor came rushing up to her. “You cannot be in here. This is a highly at risk patient—“

Azula narrowed her eyes, the woman shut up. Good.

“I’m Princess Azula of the Fire Nation, and I happen to know the only thing that can save my brother dearest,” she said, proudly holding her chin up high. 

The doctor's eyes went wide, and she stepped aside. At least she’s smart enough. 

Azula rushed over to Zuko’s side, getting the blue fire ready in her hand. She heard many of the doctors gasp, but she didn’t care. Zuko had lost a lot of blood, and she could feel his inner fire begin to weaken. 

You won’t be dying on my watch, Zuzu.

Azula turned around. “I’m going to use my blue fire to heal this wound. As soon as I say go, someone will pull out the dagger as quickly as possible. Do you understand me?”

A nurse squeaked. “Fire? To heal it? Won’t it burn him— I mean, the Fire Lord?”

Azula rolled her eyes. “I don’t know, you’re the nurse,” she said sarcastically.

“In any case, I’ve never tried it before, but I’d imagine it’s like cauterizing it. This is his only hope, so you all better be ready. If my brother dies today, I’m banishing you all.”

The doctors and nurses were beginning to look as pale as Zuko, but Azula blocked that out. 

“Three.” 

Azula readied her fire while the presumably Head Doctor rushed over to get a grip on the enchanted blade.

“Two.” 

A bead of sweat dropped down the doctor’s face and onto Zuko’s torso. Ew.

“One.”

The air in the room was so tense, Azula _almost_ felt uncomfortable. (And she’s used to tense environments.)

“Go.” 

The doctor yanked the blade out and Azula slapped her fire onto the open wound. She wanted to throw up after hearing a _sizzling_ sound. This is why she’ll stick to ruling the nation.

Carefully, after Azula was sure the wound had completely closed, she lifted her hand. It was red where she had hit him, but other than that, miraculously, no burn mark. Neat. She should keep that dagger. 

The room sighed a breath of relief. Azula got up, and dusted her robes. 

“What’re you all waiting for? You Fire Lord almost _died,_ treat him!” She yelled.

The Head Doctor snapped out of it first. “Right. As you command, Princess.” 

Azula made her way to the back of the room, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. She had a lot to process, but first, there was one more thing she had to do. 

Azula walked outside, breathing in the cool night air. She made her way back down to the beach, where she took her piece of the mirror out. 

“I think I get what you’ve been trying to tell me.” Azula had a feeling, somewhere, her mother was listening. 

“What Zuko has. He was right all along. _You_ were right all along. What he has is— love.” 

It still felt weird saying _that_ out loud. 

“He has people that will be loyal to him, not because they fear him, but because they care for him. The reason I couldn’t take it anymore on the day of the Agni Kai, it was because— well, it was exactly like Zuko said. The only person I thought cared for me left me too. It tore my heart to pieces. I didn’t want power. I wanted his love. He couldn’t give that to me.”

Azula looked up at the moon. For a brief moment, she thought she saw a face smile at her, but it was gone as quick as it came. 

“I was just scared. I was scared because there was nothing left for me. But now I’m willing to try again, and move on from whatever happened in the past. I won’t let Father control me anymore. I didn’t take down the assassin today for Zuko. I did that for me. I need to prove that I was capable of being… different.” 

She chuckled. “I can also see that Zuko’s going to need a lot of help as Fire Lord. Honestly, my brother is hopeless at times. How did he ever govern without me?”

She was actually going about as crazy as Uncle, all this talking to herself. Great. 

Azula studied the shard one last time. The item that represented her loss, her anger, her mother. No one was staring back at her. 

She looked up and gazed out into the open water. It was beautiful the way the waters were painted orange with the reflection of Agni glistening across them. 

The Fire Nation Princess sighed, and pressed her lips to the cool material.

“Goodbye, Mother.” 

And with that, Azula threw the glass into the open sea. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my mind, Azula was never evil by nature. You can bring up nature v.s. nurture in this case. Azula clearly has signs of social ineptcy, which can come across of Antiscoial Personality Disorder, or lack of empathy. Zuko had some of this too, but the difference was, he was guided by his mother, and later on Iroh. Azula never had that. Her only role model was Ozai. He taught her to be ruthless. I tried to demonstrate this by showing Azula in the flashback. She was just a normal kid until Ozai began training her. Basically, Azula needed love and a good teacher. Instead, she got no compassion beyond her skills as a firebender and an abusive father. People often forget that Ozai was both Zuko’s and Azula’s father, and he didn’t love either of them. He only kept Azula around as an asset, and I think she knew that, she just didn’t want to believe her only source of so called “love” wasn’t true, because then she’d have nothing.
> 
> So there are a couple of loose ends I could tie up if people want me to, but it’s really up to viewer interpretation. Will Azula tell Zuko about the nightmares? What will Zuko do with her after Ember Island? How will Azula’s life changing field trip with Zuko end? Things like that.
> 
> Additionally, I hope y’all caught that the mirror represents the anger Azula possessed for her life and against her mother. (I literally wrote it out for you.) She stubbornly holds onto it, even if it hurts her. That is, until she accepts what has happens to her, and lets it go, thus throwing it into the ocean. Just a little detail you may or may not have caught.
> 
> More ATLA fics for the future, that’s for sure!!! Thank you, as always! Kudos and comments appreciated!


End file.
